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Swimming Changing Room Etiquette: What NOT to do (Part 3)

Aside from the fact that I agree that lycra swim shorts are definitely acceptable now that I own a pair, I'm learning a lot from my swimming lessons. Just to be clear, before we move on, I am referring to jammers (Google it), not the stereotypical dinky speedo trunks – those are wholly unacceptable even if I was competing in the Olympics.

Anyway, like most sports where you start off as a beginner, you tentatively participate with half-enthusiasm, half-cynicism. Then, as you slowly progress, you come to embrace some of the sport's particular culture. Goggles, earplugs, lycra swim shorts and a swimming watch are some accessories that I have come to adopt as my obsessive character overwhelmingly emerges.

However, what I have not adopted is the ludicrous shenanigans that take place in the changing room. Today, I am talking drying technique. I can only describe what I witnessed as the "Floss". One leg astride on a bench, both arms pulling the towel back and forth in between the "cavity" like you are trying to dislodge something you've eaten earlier in the day. There's just no need for it. No-one wants to see that. You're having "naked chat" with me and then you do this. C'mon, really? I'm looking you right in the eye right now. Sorry, eyes.

So, it seems that there's no end to these peculiar events I experience at swimming and I'd forgive you for thinking I make all of these up. But, you're wrong, it's real life and it's affecting me. Like climate change. Although, I'm not sure that's directly affecting me. Or, is it? Anyway, that's not important. What is important is I learnt that you do not do the "Floss", whether you're a beginner at swimming or a pro. In fact, it doesn’t matter what sport it is, if you need to dry those areas, especially in public, there are better ways to do this for all concerned.

Incidentally, I spoke to a friend about this and he recounted the time he saw a guy, post-gym work out, with one leg on the bench in a packed changing room using a hairdryer to dry his love bouffant. Awful. Just awful. I bet he was a pretty competent gym go-er though.

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