• Candid Daddy

Chinese New Year 2020: Celebrating Year of the Rat

Updated: Jan 17

Last year, you filthy pigs got a turn. This year, on 25 January 2020, the first animal in the pecking order is centre stage. 2020 is for all you Rats out there.

Legend has it that the order of the Chinese horoscope animals were determined by a well organised swimming race across a fast flowing river. I have it on good authority that the rat was exhausted during the race but used its cunning to navigate the water by “persuading” the ox to let it sit on its head as it crossed. Rather than say thank you on the other side, the rat signalled a big F U to the ox by making a dash for the finish with the betrayed ox coming in second place. And, that is why the rat is the first creature in the Chinese horoscope cycle, followed by the ox. FACT.

So, there you go. You rodents are pretty dick-ish. As an aside, my father and wife are both rats... makes sense.

For your and my edification, in order, the 12 animals are Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog and Pig. For all you Rats out there, let’s check out the obligatory Chinese horoscope to get an irrefutably accurate list of your traits...

Strengths Likeable, insightful, curious, tidy, hard-working, logical, resourceful, versatile, self-controlled, optimistic, energetic, gracious and considerate.

Weaknesses Timid, overcautious, short-sighted, stingy, unambitious, overly curious, vain, gullible, suspicious, conservative, indecisive and lacking courage.

With every year, I like to try and find a random/interesting fact about new year. Last year, the fact revolved around singletons paying to hire pretend partners for family events. This year, I will leave you with this gem - Chinese supermarkets report that sales of adult diapers increase by 50% during the Chinese New Year traveling season.

Rat or otherwise, I wish you a Happy Chinese New Year to you, your family and your stand-in escort partner. May your CNY be filled with life, love and laughs.

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

FYI, here are some of the world's most famous Rats:

Richard Nixon, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Geri Horner (AKA Ginger Spice), Eminem, Rosa Parks, Cristiano Ronaldo, Pope Francis, George Foreman, Prince Harry, Scarlett Johansson, Ozzy Osbourne, The Rock, Cameron Diaz, Idris Elba, Bono, Colin Firth, Tom Holland, Lewis Hamilton, Samuel L. Jackson


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